Real Nice Presents: HOT SINCE 82 @ Westbourne Studios 10th Feb 2012

Around five years ago I found myself in the basement of an enormous house in Bristol, a white house, inside and out. Although the particular room I was in was covered floor to ceiling in tin foil and had a budget laser whipping around in no particular direction making me feel extremely ill, to the point where upon being introduced to an exceptionally good looking girl, I vomited on my own shoe, explained that “usually I was much cooler” (only just), before making a swift exit. The night continued to go downhill and at 5am I woke in a gutter at least 800 yards from the house, wearing just my boxers. Strong.

Each time I ventured down to the West from my beloved Leeds a similar scenario ensued, in fact I remained in a state of perpetual miasma for the entirety of my further education. West Yorkshire doing it’s very best to break me whilst Bristol egged it on, and visa versa.

Even though I aged several years, put on several stone, lost more than a few marbles along with almost all my dignity. I have fond memories of my jaunts down the M1, around the dismal Birmingham and down the final, exciting stretch of M5 towards the promised land. One of the memories, or perhaps I should say many, that stick where others have faded, are those of watching Ben Real and Sam Nice graduate (not necessarily from Uni) from spinning in living rooms and basements, to taking down thousand strong crowds in Bristol’s Motion, one of the UK’s biggest nightclubs, with a  smelting pot of cranked Electro that would bring Rasputin back from the grave. Flat peaks and Fat Beats. Real Nice.

Time has lapsed, and like fine wine, cheese, and the Olsen twins, Real Nice have matured with class into the Dynamic Deep House Duo they are today. I would even accredit some of my reasonable mixing skill and taste for “the beat” to watching them having a hell of lot of fun behind the wheels of steel. The first song I ever attempted to mix in a club was done with the watchful eyes of both Ben Real and Sam Nice in Edinburgh, I did alright.

Tomorrow night you all have a chance to sample the vintage as Real Nice Presents Noir Music’s ‘Hot Since 82’ at The Westbourne Studios in Notting Hill. Not only will you be able to absorb some of the best Deep House and Future Disco on planet Earth, you’ll be able to hear it through Bassline Productions’ very own Opus Sound System. It’ll be crisper than Walkers.

Ya Dig.

http://www.facebook.com/events/325246734164060/

http://basslineproductions.co.uk

The Fantastic Festive 'Fieldshires' Turkey

This time just over a year ago I was sat on my sofa mulling over the past annum, broke but happy, watching the marginally better festive TV line up and peregrinating around the caverns of my mind in search of a Cash Cow to pay for my forthcoming travels.

A year later and sure as eggs is eggs I found myself back on the same sofa, in the same room, with the same emaciated cats and Labrador that’s convinced he’s a Jack Russell and subsequently climbs all over your face, still broke, and still happy. The money I’d managed to scrape together pre-vagrancy had been blown, quite literally in some cases, on everything from curries to coca leaves. I needed a nice little earner.

Cue Facebook, (which continues to supply me with paying jobs through no effort of my own and by complete accident), a message from my elder sister pinged into my inbox instructing me at once to get in touch with Charlie Pyper, the founder, owner, manager and festive farmer responsible for what can only be described as some of the best breasts on a bird I’ve sliced with my Sabatier. The next two days were spent driving round London and the South East delivering Turkeys of all shapes and sizes to places as far fetched as Ilford, where a man identical to Winston Churchill tipped me £6, and Croydon, home of Kate Moss. I even dropped a bird off in a fictional place called Epsom, which up until now I thought was a make of printer.

After two days, 20 birds, 300 and something miles and a Thermos of Heinz chicken soup, I was on the home stretch with a single lonesome Turkey left in the boot of my car. Now I have a confession to make, in my eagerness to get home I navigated a roundabout rather too aggressively and out flew the bird, thumping with biblical force into the side of the car before rolling to a rest on it’s back, I felt the car snake from the sheer force of the blow and struggled to regain control of the back end as under steer took hold. By the time I managed to pull over my load had collected a fair amount of dirt from the floor of the boot, I brushed it off and stuffed it back in its box, and like a mischievous delinquent swore I’d never tell. Alas, my conscience has got the better of me only a week after my foul faux pas, so I am using this here web to purge my guilt ridden soul.

Fortunately for me my mother can’t work her mobile phone, let alone a computer, so the chances of her reading this and uncovering the truth about our Christmas lunch are slim to none. Not that it made any difference to the meat however; Fieldshires Turkeys are reared ranging free, they have a healthy diet and plenty of sun (Essex is statistically the driest county in Britain), pound for pound they are fantastic value and I can guarantee you wont find a better tasting bird in Britain.

Check out the Fieldshires website @ www.fieldshires.com and buy your Turkey for 2012. 

Top Tip: 

Get the dog to help with the sprouts.

The Joseph and Joseph "No Spill Mill" Pepper Grinder

When it comes to kitchen appliances quite often there is a line that’s not so fine between functionality and style, aesthetics fall by the wayside as ergonomics muscle through, dropping the shoulder of practicality as they dutifully serve their purpose. Vis-à-vis there are countless trendy accessories on the market that prove as useful in the kitchen as salmonella.

I was pleasantly surprised then when I came across the brand new Joseph and Joseph “No Spill Mill”, it is the first pepper grinder I have come across that tops the score board on both looks and usefulness. Sleek and simple the mill is modern but unassuming and will fit in almost anywhere, it is battery powered and highly efficient, but unlike many of its competitors it doesn’t leave pepper dust on the side, which in my opinion turns those competitors into subordinates.

One of these is the perfect accessory for any kitchen, so much so that I have just invested in one for my lucky sister for Christmas. If you head down to Selfridges on Oxford Street this Saturday you too can invest shrewdly in this invaluable appliance, you’ll find Joseph and Joseph’s very own branded floor space where you can view a myriad of their clever designs, and if you’re dedicated enough to be in the first 200 customers who spend over £50 you’ll get a free wind and grind worth £18.

Head down and make Christmas the season of seasoning. Best of luck. 

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Click on the link down the right hand side of my Blog, and if you’re interested use the promotional code above the link to claim your discount.