Chola Masala with Aloo Palak Methi Ka Tuk and Chapati

Recently I was sitting on the tube peregrinating through a paper, which one exactly escapes me, when I perused across an article about international tourism, and specifically a list of the 10 cities from around the world that are at the top of the tourist destination hit list. Sitting proudly at the top, and rightly so, was the city in who’s underbelly I found myself rattling around in a hot, overcrowded and smelly carriage, faced by the gloomy visage of ‘Joe Commuter’ and his copy of the Evening’s Standard. 

Up from 7^th place last annum it’s no surprise that Londinium (est. AD 43 by the Roman’s as a major imperial commercial centre) has climbed the echelons and arrived at its rightful position as the number one tourist spot on earth. The leg up was last years Royal Wedding wherein the world fell head over heels for former ‘girl next door’ Kate Middleton, now Katherine, and Duchess of Cambridge. Whilst the fashion industry took an estimated BILLION pound boost with any of the many houses designing McQueen-esque garms to sell to the gushing Middle-ton-class; it was a moment of national pride that was sorely needed during a pretty miserable period. The day before the wedding I had completed a 4-day hike to the lost city of the Inca’s in Peru’s ‘Sacred Valley’; the only thing I wanted to do after reaching Machu Picchu was sleep off the altitude for a few days, however when I turned on the TV in our hotel in Cusco and found out the wedding was due to kick off at 4:45am Peru time, I duly set my alarm and thought of England.

The second major event to rouse the popularity of London further still has only come to a close today, with a service of thanksgiving at Sir Christopher Wren’s Saint Paul’s Cathedral, to mark the end of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. This time I found myself a little closer to the action as I peered with great expectations through a pair of binoculars from my vantage point 11 floors above the South Bank; the usual drove of feckless and slow moving tourists below replaced by hoards of soaking patriots, but a pebbles flick from Blackfriars bridge. My grandmother’s flat had been decked out in a few hundred feet of the several thousand miles of overpriced bunting, which has been peddled to the masses over the past few weeks, whilst the smell of coleslaw and salubrious Coronation chicken wafted betwixt the guests as a regal reminder of why we were there, and what it is to be British. As Her Majesty bobbed past we all waved and cheered in a fit of proud Jubilee jubilation.

Each of the thousand boats involved in Sunday’s flotilla could boast a thousand stories; from the beaches of Dunkirk to the canals of Cornwall, canoes from remote archipelagos rowed alongside royal barges, and Italian gondolas punted beside Maori warriors. It was truly a sight to behold, in spite of the weather, and us Brits do a lot in spite of the weather. Beyond the marking of Queen Elizabeth’s 60 years at the helm and a lifetime of dedication and personal achievement, it was a celebration of a history long predating 1952 and her ascension to the throne. Clear of the shores of our island over nautical horizons to colonies turned common wealth, from subjects to citizens and the millions of people the world over who had chosen to come together to show their respect for a great woman, at the head of a great country. 

With the Olympics drawing in London is preparing for the biggest event in its history, people will be flocking in from around the world; groups of Spanish school children will be blocking the exits to tube stations, the South Bank will be crammed with tourists from the Orient viewing London through a three and a half inch screen, commuters will be inundated with requests by flustered foreigners trying to get to grips with Underground map, and woe betide the inevitable soul who stands on the left hand side of an escalator. However if you do get caught up in this madness, which I’m sure a great deal of you will, you must look past your frustration and focus on the pride that lies beyond. They are here not because they want to piss you off, but because they’ve come to see what all the fuss is about.

“He who is tired of London is tired of life” – Dr Samuel Johnson

Before the Jubilee weekend I had intended to cook Coronation chicken, now the weekend is over I never want to see a plate of it again. So in its place I’ve decided to make the most British of dishes: curry.

Ingredients: (Serves 4)

For the Chola

2 tins chickpeas, salted

1 large red onion, roughly chopped

2 green chillies, finely chopped

Small handful of tamarind

4 large dry bay leaves

3cm piece of cinnamon

5 cloves

3 green cardamoms

4 black cardamoms

1 tspn whole black peppercorns

1 tspn ground tumeric

2 dried red chillies

Vegetable oil

Handful of freshly chopped coriander

Natural Yoghurt

For the Aloo Palak Methi Ka Tuk

1 large potato, cut into 2cm cubes

1 medium bag of spinach

1 tspn mustard seeds

20 curry leaves

1 tablespoon ginger paste

1½ tspns garlic paste

1 tspn of chilli powder

1 tspn amchoor powder (mango powder)

½ tspn cumin powder

½ tspn ground black pepper

Small handful of dried fenugreek leaves

Vegetable oil

For the Chapati

300g Chapati flour

Water

Salt

Vegetable oil

Method:

1. Start with the Chola: in a frying pan dry roast the bay leaves, cinnamon, black peppercorns, cloves and cardamoms – make sure the cardamoms are open to release the oils. Roast over a low heat for 10 minutes or until ready for grinding. Pour out into a pestle and mortar / small blender.

2. Rub a little oil over the 2 dried red chillies and roast in the frying pan to release the flavours, the air inside them should expand a pump them up from their flat dried state. Throw them into the pestle and mortar with the other roasted ingredients and grind everything into a fine masala powder. This is you Chola mix. Noice.

3. Meanwhile soak the tamarind (you can get this from any Indian food shop) in a bowl with enough boiling water to cover it, once the water is at a temperature where it is comfortable to put your hands in, squeeze the pulp out of the tamarind (it looks a bit like dog shit but tastes delicious, so don’t be put off) until the water is murky and thickened. Take out the lumps of tamarind so you’re just left with the pulp.

4. Blend the red onion and green chillies into a watery pulp.

5. In a wok/kadai heat 3 tablespoons of oil and chuck in the onion/chilli mix, fry over a high heat until the oil begins to separate. When the onion/chilli mix begins to dry out make a well in the middle, add another tspn or 2 of oil then pour in the whole of the crushed masala mix along with 1 tspn of ground tumeric, stir it thoroughly and lower the heat down to medium.

6. Now pour in the chickpeas and tamarind pulp and stir through. Continue to cook, and add ½ a cup of water, maybe more, as the liquids will be absorbed and evaporate. After 10 minutes the sauce will have thickened and the chickpeas will have sucked up all the flavours. Keep the pan on one side over a very low heat, stir occasionally.

7. While the chickpea curry is cooking boil the potato chunks until half cooked, this will take between 7-10 minutes depending on the size of your chunks.

8. Heat some vegetable oil in a frying pan and throw in the mustard seeds, after a minute they’ll start to splutter, now sling in the curry leaves and stir fry for a few seconds before adding the garlic and ginger pastes – in turn fry them for 1-2 minutes until they have dried out a little, then add the chilli powder and stir through. Add the potatoes to the pan and toss them in the mix, and a minute or so later add the spinach. Cook until completely wilted making sure to stir constantly.

9. Add the amchoor, cumin, pepper and dried fenugreek leaves and toss to coat.

10. To make the Chapati pour the Chapati flour into a bowl with a pinch of salt, make a well, pour in enough water to make it into firm dry dough and knead away. Once you’ve got it to the desired consistency add a tspn of oil and knead it through. Make the dough into flat 8” discs a few mm thick and cook them like pancakes in a dry frying pan over a high heat.

11. Serve up the curry with a dollop of natural yoghurt and a sprinkling of chopped coriander leaves. Bloody brilliant! 

Butter Chicken

I was saddened yet unsurprised to hear that a friend of mine came face to fist this weekend past, as a group of heathen youths stripped him of his mobile phone whilst he entered a night club in Brixton. “Unsurprised” not because he is an easy target or an arsehole, he has his moments, but after watching Britain’s finest making off through the window of ‘Hatworld’ this August carrying, well, hats; I’d say he got off relatively lightly compared to some of the people affected by the mass rioting. Who knows, if he’s lucky his unsavoury assailants may upload a poorly planned viral and lead the fuzz straight to their door. But I doubt it.

My weekend didn’t pass without incident either you’ll be pleased to hear. As I sat on the central line from Ealing Broadway in my very own carriage, a drunken Indian man boarded at North Acton and sat opposite me, at once engaging me in slurred and uninvited conversation which I tried my very hardest to deflect. The solitude which I had walked so far down the platform for had come back to bite me in the behind, hypothetically speaking of course. Or so I thought.

Having originally sat opposite me for his first few questions, the answers to which were: “No, I’m not married”, “Yes, I do have a girlfriend”, and “No, I do not want a sip of your beer”, he moved over and sat beside me, placed his hand on the small of my back and asked for “just one kiss”. As you can imagine my answer was a resounding “NO”, at least, it would have been had I not first jumped up and threatened to knock his fucking lights out if he didn’t get off at the next stop. The portly fellow who had since boarded at the other end of the carriage remained silent, a few more stops down the line and I moved to the next carriage feeling dirty and used, the ambience had been affected.

By the time I reached Old Street I was in reasonable spirits and ready to divulge my experience to my friends, I left the station with the spring back in my step and came across ‘young professional’ who was giving his phone a whack on the metal railing outside. I misread his facial expression and made a jovial remark in passing and was met with at least four fingers and a barrage of abuse laced with pure hatred.

They say that bad things happen in threes, so far I had been both sexually and verbally abused, my guard was up.

Strike three came at around 1am when after disembarking the tube with a friend I had bumped into to go to a party that didn’t exist, Natwest decided once again to cancel my card, something I wasn’t banking on. The tubes were shut and I had not a penny to my name, the ensuing phone call to my to my sleeping girlfriend and her piggy bank were received surprisingly well and I managed to make it home for £30 of her money.

I would like to dedicate this dish to Lachie, who took one on the chin for the rest of us. To my girlfriend, for having cash and patience. To the people at ‘Hatworld’, just because. And finally, to myself, for being felt up and talking about it.

Ingredients: (Serves 4)

5 chicken breasts cut into 2” chunks

1 large red onion, very finely sliced

2 cans chopped tomatoes

2 large cloves garlic, crushed into paste

2cm fresh root ginger, crushed into paste

½ cup of water

40g salted butter

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 tspn cumin seeds

1 tspn medium chilli powder

1 tspn cinnamon powder

1 tspn turmeric powder

1 tspn dried fenugreek leaves

1 tspn of curry leaves

2 tspns garam masala

4 green cardamoms, crushed

2 black cardamoms, crushed

1 bay leaf

Salt

Rice to serve

Method:

1. Poach the chicken for 10 minutes in boiling water, or until cooked through, strain and set aside.

2. In a thick-bottomed frying pan/skillet heat the vegetable oil and fry the cumin seeds and curry leaves till brown and aromatic, add the ginger and garlic, the turmeric, chilli powder, ½ cup of water, pinch of salt and garam masala, stir over a high heat. After a minute throw in the cardamoms, cinnamon, fenugreek leaves, bay leaf and butter, melt it in and stir continuously, throw in the onions and toss to coat.

3. After a couple more minutes of stirring you should have a thick brown and seriously smelly sauce, in a good way. Now pour in the chopped tomatoes and stir thoroughly, turn down the heat and simmer for another 5 minutes so all the flavours get right into the tomato. Finally put the cooked chicken in and cover it in tastiness, simmer for another 5 minutes and serve piping hot with rice.

Roasted Duck Red Thai Curry (Gaeng Phed Ped Yang)

In the summer of 2006 during the first of several periods of extended vagrancy, I found myself (as most of us travlaars do), sitting on a beach in the Gulf of Thailand staring out at a ludicrously beautiful seascape, which wasn’t at all tainted by the hoards of bucket wielding, same same but different sporting, “oh my god! It’s such a small world”ing gappers, intent on getting utterly mind-fucked.

You may detect an air of sarcasm, but you’d be wrong, I was one of them.

It didn’t matter whether the moon was full, as long as my bucket was, and if it wasn’t you can bet it was affixed to my belt as a triumphant accessory, next to the glow stick/s, by my man-bag.

(Incidentally it’s not a small world you morons! If we bumped into each other in Magadan maybe that turn of phrase would apply, or Reykjavik perhaps, but not Thailand. It’s like Uni, but with Magic Mushrooms and Ladyboys).

Me and my partner in crime and best friend Ed, who still retains the mantle to this day in fact, needed to line our stomachs with food before drinking Thailand’s taurine filled answer to Red Bull (which actually has bits of bovine bollock floating in it), and although Ed romanticised about experimenting with the weird and wonderful flavours of South East Asia, the furthest he ever got was a chicken schnitzel. I on the other hand dived straight in and tried all I could get my hands on, the real favourite for me were the curries, and in particular the Thai Red Curry.

It came to pass that a year later I found myself back in Thailand, a little bit older and just as stupid, still armed with my glow sticks and man-bag, but with a newly developed affinity for cooking.

I arrived in Chiang Mai in the North West of the country and set about searching for a cooking school that would teach me how to create my beloved curry – ‘The Chiang Mai Thai Cookery School’ came highly recommended so I signed up for 5 days of lessons in all things Thai. On the final day we were bussed out to the house of the school’s owner, TV celebrity chef Sompon Nabnian, where he showed us his step by step recipe for the best Roasted Duck Red Curry in the world.

I have added and subtracted a few things here and there, some I couldn’t get like the fresh kaffir lime, and others I don’t like such as the green peppercorns. The taste however is sweet, rich, spicy and divine.

Ingredients: (Serves 4)

If you want to make the paste from scratch then do so, you can store the surplus for a good few weeks in the fridge.

Paste:

10 Large red chillies, deseeded, finely chopped

10 Red bird eye chillies

1 tspn coriander seeds, dry roasted for a few minutes

2 cardamom pods, dry roasted for a few minutes

½ tspn salt

½ tspb black peppercorns

2cm fresh root ginger, peeled and chopped

1 tspn fresh coriander root, chopped

3 cm of lemongrass, the lower end of the root

3 cloves of garlic, crushed

3 shallots, finely chopped

1 tspn shrimp paste

Curry:

3 duck breasts

100g red curry paste

350ml coconut milk

200ml coconut cream

4 kaffir lime leaves

1 small dark aubergine, cut into thin wedges

8 cherry tomatoes

8 white grapes
2 sticks of lemon grass, topped and tailed and cut into 3cm lengths

Small handful of sweet basil leaves

1 wheel of fresh pineapple, cut into small segments

2 large red chillies, thinly sliced into wheels

1 tablespoon fish sauce (Nam Pla)

1 tablespoon dark soy sauce

1 tspn palm sugar

1 tspn white sugar

Rice for serving, this is necessary as the curry is extremely rich and really needs the cool blandness of the grain to soak up the flavours of the sauce.

Method:

Paste:

1. You can make the mix by pounding everything in a pestle and mortar - start with the coriander seeds, cardamom pods and black peppercorns, then add the rest of the ingredients and grind into a smooth paste. Alternatively you can put everything in a blender and whizz it that way, you may have to add a little water to the mix.

There are plenty of great curry pastes in the supermarket if you don’t have the time to make your own, Waitrose has a particularly good ‘Foods of the World’ section where you can find almost all of the ingredients you’ll need.

Curry:

1. Slice a few slits across the skin of the duck breasts and season them, fry them skin side down in a pan with a little oil for a few minutes so they get a little crispy, put them on a baking tray in the oven at 200°C for 15 minutes. When the time is up take the duck out and cut it into thin slices, it may be pink in the middle but this is alright as it can be eaten rare and will continue to cook in the curry later on. Set aside.

2. In a measuring jug pour 100ml of coconut milk and 150ml of coconut cream, mix together thoroughly. Pour it into a wok and simmer for 5 minutes whilst constantly stirring, the coconut oil will begin to separate out on top, this isn’t massively noticeable but it does enhance the flavour a lot. I can’t explain why, it just does.

3. Add the curry paste and stir it through, simmer for a further 2 minutes and add the remaining 250ml of coconut milk and mix it in. When it bubbles roughly tear up the kaffir lime leaves and chuck them in along with the aubergine, pineapple and cherry tomatoes, cook for 3 minutes. Now add the grapes, half of the sweet basil leaves, half of the chopped chilli wheels, the chopper lemon grass, the palm sugar, white sugar, fish sauce, soy sauce and the sliced duck. Mix it up and cook for another 4 minutes.

4. Plate up with some rice, garnish with the remaining basil leaves, chilli wheels and a drizzle of the leftover coconut cream. There are so many flavours in this curry but they all love each other, it’s a very happy dish.

Chicken Do Pyaza with Okra, Cucumber Raita and Naan

Sunday is curry night at home and usually we go for a takeaway from the local ‘Tandoori Cottage’, yesterday however I decided that I would have a go at rustling up my own creation with a little help from Pushpesh Pant’s ‘India’ cookbook, the invaluable instruction I received when staying with an Indian lady and her daughter in Pune (near Mumbai, thank you Sushma and Shriya), and a little experimentation of my own.

The issue then became the lack of almost all the key ingredients in the house to even contemplate any form of preparation, Tesco was open but there were some pretty niche elements on my shopping list to consider that could only really be bought in the one place I could think of, Brick Lane.

So at 10:30am my father and I set off on our bikes, at his suggestion, and cycled all the way to E1 to do a spot of shopping and earn our curry by means of exertion. I will add that our house is in East Hertfordshire and after navigating several canal towpaths in the pouring rain, falling off my bike in front of a trendy café packed with patrons, and taking in Dad’s mandatory ‘City of London Tour’, the whole excursion took in 44 miles and 8 hours. The pressure was on to make the most of the fruits of our labour. Spicy.

Ingredients: (Serves 6)

Note - The naan bread dough needs to rest for 2 hours prior to rolling out.

Note 2 – The chicken should be left to marinate for 2 hours prior to cooking.

Chicken Do Pyaza:

4 chicken breasts, cut into chunks

5 white onions, roughly chopped

½ head of cauliflower

1 cup of vegetable oil (ghee can be used to enhance the flavour, and calories)

8 cloves

8 green cardamoms, crushed

3 tspns cumin seeds

4 tspns medium chilli powder

5 tspns garam masala

2 inch piece of ginger, crushed into paste

3 tablespoons fresh chopped coriander

300ml natural yoghurt, briefly whisked

Water

Salt

Okra:

14 pieces of Okra (ladies’ fingers)

1 medium red chilli, cut into wheels

1 onion, finely chopped

4 tomatoes, cut into 8 wedges each

Water

Okra Masala:

2 inch piece of cinnamon

1 dried red chilli

1 tablespoon mustard seeds

1 tablespoon caraway seeds

1 tablespoon cumin seeds

2 black cardamoms, crushed

4 green cardamoms, crushed

Cucumber Raita:

300ml natural yoghurt

½ cucumber, diced

Naan Bread:

1 cup of plain flour

1 cup of water

3 tablespoons of vegetable oil

1 teaspoon of natural yoghurt

Salt

Method:

1. For the naan dough put the flour into a bowl and add the water slowly, stirring firstly with a spoon and then using your hands until it becomes a thick doughy consistency, add the yoghurt and a little salt and knead well on a surface dusted with a little flour. The dough should not stick to your hands and should become thick and elastic, at this point add the oil and knead again for between 5 and 10 minutes into a big round lump. Transfer to a bowl and cover with a damp tea towel for 2 hours.

2. To marinate the chicken put the breasts in a bowl, add 2 tspns of garam masala, 2 tspns of chilli powder and a tablespoon of yoghurt, smother it and transfer it to the fridge for 2 hours.

3. Put three of the chopped onions into a pan, cover with a little water and boil until they have absorbed almost all the liquid, transfer to a blender and whizz into a smooth paste.

4. Pour the whole cup of vegetable oil into a thick bottomed pan and fry the remaining onions over a high heat until they brown, remove with a slotted spoon and drain on kitchen paper.

5. Add the cloves, chilli powder, cardamoms, cumin seeds, onion and ginger pastes and 3 tspns of garam masala and fry for 2 minutes over a high heat, then add the yoghurt. Turn down the heat to medium and fry for around 25 minutes until the sauce reduces and thickens, take care to stir frequently to prevent the sauce burning and add a little water if needed.

6. Whilst the curry cooks soak the okra in salted water for five minutes. While it soaks get out a frying pan and put it over a high heat, brush a little oil over the dried red chilli, add all the ingredients and spices to the pan and dry roast them for 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Transfer them to a pestle and mortar/blender and grind into a masala powder.

7. Put the chicken breasts on a baking tray and cook in the oven at 220°C for 10 minutes.

8. Drain the Okra and chop the heads and tails off, then slice them into ½ cm wheels. In the pan used to dry roast the spices add 4 tablespoons of vegetable oil and fry the masala powder for 1 minute, add the onions, chilli, okra and chopped tomatoes and fry for 5 minutes till they begin to soften, at this point you should add a little water and fry for a further 8 minutes until nice and thick, the smell should be pretty sexy by this point. Take off the heat and keep warm.

9. Now back to the curry: when the sauce is reduced add the fried onions you set aside earlier, the remaining 2 tspns of garam masala along with the chopped coriander and ½ a cup of water. Take the chicken breasts out of the oven and chop them into cubes before adding them to the pan and coating them in the sauce, cook for a further 10 minutes until the chicken is completely done and the sauce thickens up.

10. Raita - dice the cucumber and mix with the yoghurt.

11. Finally, take the naan dough from the bowl and mould it into small ovals of about 80g each, roll it out so it’s a few millimetres thick, place on a baking tray and grill for a few minutes till browning on top. Spread a little butter over it and serve with the curry. Spice as nice.