Pork Wrapped in Bacon with Super Smash and a Vermouth and Mushroom Sauce

A pig isn’t just for Christmas, you can eat it on Boxing Day too. Sentiments I shared up until a couple of years ago when I found myself driving through Somerset in my 1986 Mercedes 608D, complete with mock oak flooring, tiger print upholstery, 2 hob cooker, Roman tiling, bespoke spice rack, carpeted walls, and of course 1500 watt super sound system. To those of you don’t know what I’m talking about the snub nose 608 is the holy grail of campervans, six and a half tonnes of pure unadulterated metal, a labour of love, and now part of the family. In fact there are so many comparisons between me and my Mercules it is rather uncanny: we were both born in 1986 for starters, and were extremely painful to deliver. We’ve both got a lot of things going on inside, some of questionable taste and none screwed down. Then of course we are a huge drain on resources; in fact having committed to my beloved van I now have a heightened appreciation of my parents and what they did for me in the first 20 years of my life, what they still do for me. The fact is no matter how much care and attention he needs, no matter how much money I have to throw at him to get him around Eastern Europe again so I have a comfy bed to retire to after 24 hours standing in a glorified ditch, listening to the strangely therapeutic roll of a Psychedelic bass line. I will continue to do so, because I love him, and that is the greatest curse a man can be blessed with.

So, as I was saying, me and my Mercules (and my little sister Claudia) were driving through the beautiful rolling hills of Somerset on our way to pick up the latest addition to the ever growing hoard of livestock; a pair of eight week old pedigree Kune Kune piglets. Cute doesn’t even come into it, these two reduced me do a swooning wreck of peculiar noises immediately, and it was all I could do to pay the breeder and sign the ownership papers without joining them both in the mud to see what all the fuss was about.

On the way home the newly named ‘Bangers’ and ‘Mashed’ were good as gold in their box in the back of Mercules, that was until after nearly four hours driving and only a few miles from home they both escaped with a squeal and a snort and joined us up front. It conspires that contrary to popular belief pigs are rather clean and well mannered creatures, of course they appreciate a good wallow, but when it comes to defecation they refuse point blank to pass stool in their sleeping quarters. Poor little Bangers and Mashed were so desperate they simply couldn’t hold on any longer and had staged a daring escape from the confines of their box, in order to crap all over the mock oak floor of my van.

Many a happy hour was spent playing with the two new family members as they ran through the kitchen squealing, chewing the tails of our confused dogs, and repeatedly falling into the neighbouring duck pond prompting a full scale rescue operation. The stories are true, pigs cannot swim.

Anyway, a year or so went by and contrary to what the breeder told us Bangers and Mashed continued to grow at a rather alarming rate. We weren’t after a micro swine plagued with inbred health conditions to carry around in a handbag, however our kitchen garden was fast resembling the Somme and the chance of the vegetable patch surviving were slim to none. It had got to the point where had Bangers decided to go for an impromptu dip it would’ve taken more than one of us to hoist him to safety. After two years it appeared we would have to part ways after all.

I know what you’re thinking, the recipe is a piggy one, but don’t worry, we didn’t send them off to the abattoir to be strung up. What we actually did was to find a piggy sanctuary not too far away from home where the two of them could live happily ever after, and we could visit them whenever we wanted. Alas Bangers died from a heart attack shortly after he arrived (perhaps his naming pre-ordained his fate), Mashed however lives on happily, burrowing around, snuffling, and doing general piggy things.

This recipe is a celebration of our 45 million year old friends, the wonderful, lovable, and not so dirty pig. 

Ingredients: (Serves 4)

1 pork filet (loin)

16 rashers streaky bacon (2 packs)

Wholegrain mustard

8 large potatoes, Desiree or Maris Piper will do

1 head of brocolli, pulled into medium florettes 

1 leek, chopped finely

2 shallots, chopped finely

1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

2 tablespoons of runny honey

2 tspns English mustard

200g chestnut mushrooms, finely sliced

100g butter

1 tablespoon plain flour

400ml vegetable stock 

150ml dry vermouth

Olive Oil

1 egg

50ml double cream

Salt and Pepper

Asparagus to garnish (in season in spring, mine tasted bland)

Method: 

Preheat the oven to 220 degrees centigrade.

1. Lay out the streaky bacon on the work surface slightly overlapping each piece, pat the pork filet dry on kitchen towel and position it in the middle of the bacon. Smother it in wholegrain mustard then wrap the bacon around the filet, place it on a baking tray and put it at the bottom of the oven, cook for 40 minutes. The pork can turn dry if you over cook it so be careful not to overdo it, you want the bacon to be going a little bit crispy on top.

2. Whilst the pork is cooking peel and chop the potatoes into halves, put in a large saucepan with cold water and a pinch of salt. Bring to the boil and cook for 15 minutes until soft, drain in a colander.

3. At the same time as the potatoes are boiling boil the brocolli till soft, strain and set aside. 

4. In a frying pan add a little butter and oil and fry off the leeks until they are soft but not browning, then add a small slug of red wine vinegar and cook it off, take off the heat and set aside. 

5. Mash the potatoes with the double cream, 50g of butter, the egg and lots of seasoning. The heat from the potatoes will cook the raw egg and it will give the mash a great taste and colour.

Now add the leeks, honey, brocolli and English mustard and stir thoroughly until it's all mixed through, this will give you the super smash you want and need.

6. For the sauce melt 50g of butter in a saucepan and add the flour to it, this will become instantly thick and lumpy. Add the stock to it a bit at a time a stir it in, as it absorbs it and becomes thick again you want to continue adding until you reach the right consistency; like double cream. When this happens add the vermouth, mushrooms and shallots, add a little seasoning and simmer until the pork is done. About 20/25 minutes, this will ensure the shrooms and shallots are soft and flavoursome. 

7. When it's all ready dish up the super smash, dump the pork wrapped in bacon on top, surround it  with a pool of the sauce and sling on a couple of steamed asparagus tips (when in season), and you're ready to go.